I'm a bruxer. I brux. I suffer from bruxism. I gnash my teeth, or rather "clomp" them, in my sleep. This is very, very annoying. For my wife. Me? I sleep right through it, like a baby. I'm alright, Jack. Except today, in about half an hour, I'm off to the dentists to get a night-guard fitted. Hopefully then Adrienne won't have to elbow me in the ribs every other night and hiss "STOP...GRINDING...YOUR...TEETH!" Poor lamb. I shoulda got it sorted out a long time ago. I've already lost one molar and cracked another one. Nobody know what causes bruxism, but it appears to be related to stress. I hope the dentist isn't one of those guilt-trip running plaque bastards.
UPDATE: after doing a bit more googling, it seems that the latest, cutting edge bruxism-inhibiting device is the NTI-TSS, which is a small device which fits over only the front two teeth. This would be massively preferable to a big, clunky mouthguard, which I am kind of dreading wearing, since when I had a brace fitted (badly, I might add) as a teen I absolutely detested it, never got used to it, and talked like I had a mouth full of saliva. Which I did. In the end I 'lost' it, by which I mean I crushed it with a 56lb weight in our garage and then threw it in the sea, cackling hysterically.
I am prepared to bet that my dentist has not got an NTI-TSS handy, and has probably never even heard of one, us Brits being famously archaic in our dental knowledge. I'm certainly going to annoy him by banging on about it, though. I sure hope I can sort out my 'adverse nocturnal tooth movement supraeruption'...
UPDATED UPDATE: Well, that was painless. Actually, it was just an initial check-up. I need, like, a billion fillings. Four. My teeth are in a parlous, but not yet desparate state, apparently. He stopped short of tsking and shaking his head in despair, but you know, you can just tell... This is what happens when you go to the dentist about five times. Ever. Ah well. He, the dentist was - annoyingly - very nice. Dr Parminderjit Singh Gill. He has a Hoxton Fin. He dissed the NTI-TSS, so I am going with the full-size guard. Boo Yaa! I wonder if I can get it in blood red? Or black. Black would be cool.