Rik Abel

Norwegian Bluetooth

I have a problem with Bluetooth headsets, in that the wearer either looks like a prat, or if it is particularly discreet, comes across like a schizophrenic talking to God. However, given that I have no particular desire to irradiate my brain with microwaves for prolonged periods, I have been thinking long and hard about a possible solution, and by Jove, I think I have it!

The obvious and elegant solution is a Bluetooth-enabled parrot which would perch on your shoulder, pirate-style. Not only would this lend you a certain rakish air on the Number 73 bus, it would make it entirely clear to fellow passengers and the man in the street that you are perfectly sane and merely engaged in a conversation with a friend. Given that it is almost impossible to wear a Bluetooth headset without looking like a tit, one may as well go the whole hog and give people a laugh into the bargain.

This invention would also solve the problem of annoying your fellow passengers quite so much. Researchers (well, Jakob Nielsen) have found that the most irritating thing about overheard mobile phone conversations is that they can only hear one half of the conversation. By simply using a concealed loudspeaker in said parrot, mental irritation of your fellows would be significantly reduced. Perhaps there could be an option to have your caller's voice broadcast in either their natural voice or in a comedy parrot voice? The opportunities are limitless.

Now, I've googled this idea, and nobody seems to have built one yet. Granted, there are Bluetooth handsfree car kits which are called Parrot, but do they look like a parrot? They do not. This is clearly a gap in the market and a significant opportunity for first mover advantage. All I need is some investment money to build the first prototypes. Anyone care to chip in?

Digital Jewelry and the miniPod

Lots of people seem underwhelmed by the new mini iPod, believing it to be over-priced and under-Giged ('only' 4GB of storage), are can't understand why it is only $50 less than the 15GB iPod. I think they are missing the point - I believe the miniPod is one of the first instances of technology becoming jewelry. One just has to look at the colour choices to surmise that it is aimed at the fashion-conscious, and (at the risk of gender stereotyping) at the ladeez. Wearable technology is going to go mainstream this year, perhaps the most obvious example being the ever-smaller and prettier bluetooth headsets. Apparently in PR circles this is a hot prediction and the buzzphrase 'techstyle' has been coined by someone.

Small, hi-tech gadgets have always been somewhat jewel-like - I remember inspecting the insides of my first MiniDisc player (back before portable music machines were hermetically sealed...) and goggling at the Faberge-Egg like complexity of the internal components. I imagine that if you showed an iPod to an Egyptian Pharaoh he would have swapped most of his treasures for it. Gadgets are now getting small enough that they are morphing into 'accessories' more than ever before.

I haven't checked, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that there are already USB storage earrings and pendants. If not, I'm going to design some...